How To Talk About Your Sneaker Count

Oftentimes when engaging in sneaker talk with others, one big question comes up usually in the first 30 seconds of conversation one way or another:

How many pairs do you own?

Of course, you can never know what they’ll say, because different sneakerheads own different pairs and amounts. You might think a timid, quiet kid has all but 10 pairs, when in actuality he owns over 100. And in a lot of instances, I’ve been on the lighter end of the scale when talking to other sneakerheads. Actually, in almost all instances, the other person had more sneakers than I did. Now, I am not a hater at all. In fact, it is merely inspiration for me. Regardless, talking on your numbers isn’t a bad thing, it isn’t. The numbers come up, you have to talk about them. That’s just how it is. But, it has to be done with tact. How does that happen? Let’s take a gander below.

1. Don’t Let Your Amount Of Sneakers Be The First Thing That Comes Out Of Your Mouth.

Seriously. It is a put-off (at least for me) when someone opens up the conversation with how many sneakers they have.

“But J, didn’t you just say the question comes up in the first 30 seconds of the conversation?”

Yes, the question, not the answer. If someone asks you, then of course you answer. But if someone didn’t ask yet, you don’t answer yet. It’s bad taste otherwise. On top of that, talking about sneakers is not (and probably never) a kind of discussion or dialogue that requires a power move like that. We’re talking shoes, not business.

2. Don’t Talk Down On Someone Else’s Number.

We’re all sneakerheads here. There is no need to demean the amount of sneakers someone else has, good or bad, high or low. Situations and circumstances are different for everyone, mind you. Don’t make them feel bad about how many they have. We all share and enjoy the same thing, and that’s sneakers, because there’s a sneaker for everyone.

3. If You Do Own A Lot Of Sneakers, Don’t Play it Off As If You Barely Have Any.

This is hard to explain, so let me paint the picture:

“How many sneakers do you have?“

“I don’t have a lot, only like 300 pairs.“

We all have one person in our various circles that is like this about something. Isn’t it annoying when they do that? Exactly. Don’t be that person.

4. If You Barely Have Any Sneakers, Don’t Play It Up As If You Own A Lot.

At the same time, don’t be the person talking mad game on your rotation when you only have 5 pairs. Is there anything wrong with only owning 5 pairs? No. But, don’t be a poser. If you only own a couple of sneakers, then own the fact that you only own a couple of sneakers. All that faking the funk is only going to make you look bad. And talked about. As Charlamagne Tha God says, “if you live your truth, nobody can use it against you.”

5. Don’t Sound Like A Reseller.

If you somehow own multiple pairs of sought after sneakers, please don’t brag on the legitimacy and other intricate details of said multiple pairs. Some resellers, legitimate or otherwise, will use these points to sell you on a sneaker they want to flip on you. It’s great that you own that many pairs of that specific model, and that all the details are in order, but do go on and on when talking to other people about them.

6. Have Some Sort Of Heat.

If we ever talk sneakers, and you tell me that you own x amount of sneakers and the majority of them are models still sitting on shelves, I will question your taste. This is only acceptable if you are some sort of counterculture sneakerhead that only cops the general release from the likes of Eastbay.

These are only a few of things that come to mind, but I’m sure you can think of more. Keep these in mind next time you talk shop with someone, and you just might make a new friend.