Clean Your Shoes

Gather ’round, boys and girls. Uncle Jordan has a short, fun story to tell.

Last week, during lunchtime at work, I decided to walk across the street to stretch my legs and get some fresh air. In my pocket, I get a single vibration from my phone, which meant that it could’ve been any other app but the messages. I take it out of my pocket and look, and it’s the Goat app.

When I read the notification, I almost lost my mind. It read: “Get the Air Jordan XI Retro ‘Win Like ’82 you want for $15.”

My eyeballs almost shot out of their sockets. I couldn’t believe what I was reading! So I pressed the app, and investigated further. When I opened up Goat, I was directed to a bunch or Air Jordan XIs, going for $300 and above. It was here that I thought that I was getting bamboozled, until I saw the ‘Win Like ’82 colorway on the list. I clicked on it to see if the price really was that ridiculous. Lo and behold, in size 13, there they were, for $15. 

So of course I proceed to purchase the pair of shoes, because why wouldn’t you buy a pair of legitimate Jordans for $15? After going through the process and confirmation, I would come to experience a bliss that would be very short lived. About 45 minutes after receiving confirmation of my purchase, I would soon be greeted with another 2 emails from Goat, that only confirmed my initial suspicion of being played.

The first of the pair would tell me that the seller cancelled, and that I would be refunded of my $15. The second would tell me that the confusion was due to an error on Goat’s end. I knew it was too good to be true, and in no more than an hour, I had and lost a pair of XIs. As a software developer by day, I can understand how things like this happen. As a sneakerhead, I had my emotions played with and I am slightly annoyed, although not really that mad. I can only imagine how many other pairs were priced at $15, and how many other people tried capitalizing on that bogus sale.

In the grand scheme of things, I ended up winning because I got a pair of 2018 Concords in the weeks to follow. I would also have a better Goat experience in those same weeks to follow.